Secrets are hurtful!

Momma and the man in the white pants

Momma and the same guy, same day, same location

Momma's sister, Joyce, with the man in the white pants

 The top two pictures were in our box of pictures the whole time I was growing up.  I thought it was sort of odd that Momma kept a picture of her with a man who wasn't my daddy.  Then later, I found out that my aunt, Joyce, had a picture of her with the same man taken the same day at the same place.  Then there is another picture of a different couple taken the same day, same place.

What in the world made this picture so important after laying around in a box of pictures since the 1940s?  It's a long story.

I had to have eye surgery a couple of years ago and my sister, Phyllis, took me to Lafayette to have the surgery done.  This is 2019, so that was in 2017.  On the way there one morning, she half way turns to me and says, "By the way, you do know you have a brother, right?"

We were raised as three girls.  There was NO brother, ever.  You mean to tell me that at age 68, you are just now telling me that I have had a brother for over 68 years and you are just now getting around to telling me about it????  GOOD GRIEF!!!

After some discussion, she finally told me that Momma had surrendered a child for adoption before I was born and after she was born but she didn't know the exact details.  I asked where she got this information since it was the first I had heard of it.  She said Joyce, our aunt, told her right after Momma had died.  But Joyce told her it was a SECRET! So... she kept this secret.

After some research on my part, I have come to conclude that not only was it not a secret, but many of our relatives knew about this and they didn't tell me either.  I'm not sure who to be more upset with.  My sister for keeping this a secret or my family for keeping the same secret.

Judy (1) knew the secret.  On her death bed, she told Phyllis that she didn't want to take that to the grave with her.  Phyllis became very upset because Judy wasn't supposed to know.  It was SUPPOSED to be a HUGE family secret.  Well her bubble must have burst that day, because not only did Judy know, but Fred (2) knew, and Doris (3) knew.  Remember, for Fred and Judy to know, meant that Inez (4), their mother knew.  And for Doris to know, meant her mother, Claudie (5) , knew as well.  In searching for information, I found out that Janice (6) knew, having been told by her mother, Betty (7).  I'm sure that if Janice knew, Sammie knew as well but I don't have proof of that.

And the fact that Joyce (8) knew and told Phyllis (9) means it surely wasn't a secret.

Phyllis' bubble was busted, but not enough to tell me the truth!  The only reason she told me when she did was that I had had my DNA done by both Ancestry and by 23andMe.  She said she figured I would find him through DNA.  If not for that, I would have gone to my grave not knowing I had a brother.

I knew it was my job to find my brother.  I immediately joined adoption groups on FB.  Phyllis said she THOUGHT he was born in Texas, and that she THOUGHT  he was younger than her but didn't know if he was one year younger or two years younger.

The story at that time was that Momma went to live with Joyce in either Beaumont or Houston to have the baby.  That way Joyce could take care of Phyllis when Momma went to the hospital.  I was given no clue which hospital or which adoption home she went to or what name she used.  Talk about a needle in a haystack. This really was, but I was so determined to find him.

I looked for a long while with no clues.  Some of the search angels in the adoption groups tried to help with no results.  And when it looked like I would never find him, one of the search angels got a lead.  And she was able to find a name in the Texas birth books.  And on top of that, the name had an A, a capital A behind the birth number, meaning that he was adopted.  They put me in touch with his name and phone number and his wife's name and daughter's name.  Oh I couldn't believe it was happening.

I called the numbers, both of them.  No answer.  I waited a couple of days and sent a letter to the address.  I waited a couple more days and decided that if I needed to call again.  The first number I called that day was answered.  How in the world do you say, Excuse me, I think my brother is there.

I asked the woman who answered if she knew Michael and Angie.  She said yes, they are my parents, what do you want with them.  At first I asked for their number so I could call them, but she was hesitant.  So I said, "you have my number, could you give it to them and ask them to call me?"  She said she would only if I would tell her what it was about.

I said, "It's about DNA and a family tree."  That was all I said.  She immediately said, "Oh! Wait, let me call them and give them your number!!!"  She was as excited as I was.

I prepared to wait...but it took only three minutes.  Angie called me.  She asked what I wanted.  I told her that I had reason to believe her husband was my brother. "In fact," I said, "I'm so sure of it I will buy him a DNA kit so he can have his DNA tested."  Imagine my shock when I heard her say, "I have a DNA kit here from 23and Me, so we will just send it in."  I was in a state of elated shock.  There are no words to describe the feeling of knowing that you are actually locating your brother.  He is technically my half brother, but who's counting at this point.  This was the beginning of March 2019

Angela and I talked for about three hours.  She said that she couldn't wait to get the test results back.  She told Michael about it.  He said that this made so much sense of his life.

In the meantime, I was still looking for information.  Remember the pictures of Momma with the guy in the white pants?  Phyllis told me that the guy in the white pants was "the baby's daddy."  I asked her how she knew this and she shrugged and said, "I don't know how I know, I just know it."  This from someone who is 8 years older than me.  I was 68 and she was 76.  I don't know how I know, I just know??? That tells me that there is more information that she has that she is not sharing with me.

Nine days later, Angie called me.  Michael's DNA came back and it shows that we are half siblings.  We share 1,999 centimorgans.  I called Phyllis to let her know that Michael's DNA was back and that he is definitely our brother.  Her one and only question was, "where does he live."  I told her he lived in New Braunfels, Tx.  And then she said she had to go and hung up.  I have never called her back.  And she has never contacted me either.  Oh well.  Win one lose one.

Julie came to visit.  Julie is my daughter.  She brought pictures.  In the pictures she brought, was this one.

On the back of the picture it said Katie Scripture and Edward Campbell.  There you have it.  If this is truly Michael's father, at least I know his name now.

It seems my brother, Michael was sick.  I didn't know what he had but Angela said he was very sick.  I decided to go immediately to meet him and not put it off.  We boarded the dogs, packed and went to meet him.  Spent two days there talking and getting to know each other.  I couldn't believe how much he looked like Momma.

I think they look just alike.  Mostly in the eyes and the cheekbones.  

To me, this is the sort of stuff you hear of that happens to other people, but this was happening to me.  I still couldn't believe it.  We visited for two days and had to come home.  I regret that I did not get to go back.  

I got a phone call from Angela.  I dreaded that call, but it came.  Seems Michael had passed away in the wee hours of April 26th, 2019. It wasn't long enough, I wanted MORE!!!  More time.  I was broken hearted!  I'm still broken hearted.  This is the last picture I have of him.  

He was so thin and frail.  How could my family have hidden him from me all those 68 years.

Now I know why Momma kept the picture of herself with Michael's dad.  That was all she had to hang onto.  It was her one and only tie with Michael.  It answers many of my other questions even though I realize I would be speculating if I put them in print here.  It answers so much.  I'm not finished searching.  There are more answers to be found.  Michael was lied to.  He was told that the woman who adopted him had given birth to him.  I am not related to that woman, yet Michael and I share our mother's genes. That woman could not possibly have been his mother.